Week 8 Family Project

The family project was very humbling. I wanted to help and encourage/challenge the groups, but I thought as though I came off wrong (with a different intention).  I wish I had been better at being diplomatic.

The Master project has been thought about, in that I know and feel that I need to take a break and spend some time, allowing time for my family to heal.

"It will all work out." Temple session, Sat, Mar. 3.

ECSE Wk 7 Family

I honestly am not sure what to say....
I have never felt like a "Case Study" before.  What I taught my "peers" is hopefully patience (inadvertently) and compassion (in an indirect fashion).

I both want and need to be there for my children.  I felt, at times, as if I was trapped in a horror show (especially when I was concerned for our safety).  Now, I feel the compassion and the Power of God, more than I think I have ever really felt! I really appreciate everyone's patience as I have tried to either bring or get it together. 

Leta is better (a few more big hurtles-physical and testimony, in court), but I think a few big hurtles are also done (confronting him and his wife, getting out-safe, planning).

I believe I will have much more empathy for some situations which we will encounter.

There are things which I will probably never forget (but I do not feel appropriate to quote here).

HWD- I did not get my phone calls made.  I do not wish or feel that I am making excuses, but I am sincerely trying to do my best.

ECSE wk 6 Mental Health

I'm nearly speechless.  I need to not have things hit so close to my heart, but this is how it goes.

My children, this week, wanted to watch my homework, even facts.   It was interesting to define "stigma" to my 13 year old (I showed the faces of and in the audience, even how one person "changed" her persona once she saw she was televised).  She was so mad, then I reminded her how she was scared when she met one of my stewards (with a genetic deficit), but learned to love him, as she saw his personality, his love, and how hard he both tried and had to work, what she just took for granted.  I agree with Liza Long (form San Antonio TEDx, 2013), that until 1) it is everyone's problem- which ironically- whether admitted or not, it seems to be becoming and fear, stigma, as well as prejudice rule, but as they get to know, and, more importantly love someone with a mental illness, there is acceptance, love, compassion, and help.  Satan divides, and, as the Primary song goes "Jesus Said Love Everyone" (Children's Songbook, p. 61). The joy is that "love conquers all" through "Charity [that] Never Faileth" (Moroni 7:46)

Quote: SUNDAR or  "Dare to Care, Person's with [M.E.] are people too"
Simplify
UNpack treatment
Deliver to (personalize the message) where the people are
Affordable and available (to all)
Reallocation of specialists train and supervise

Mental Health for All by Involving All | Vikram Patel | TED Talks, Sept 11, 2012, Edinburgh, Scotland.

go.asuonline.asu.edu/lpppc-brand-sfv3/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=BRAND-GENERIC-NAT&utm_term=online degree schools&utm_content=Online-School-BM&st-t=adwords&vt-k=online degree schools&vt-mt=b&cl_vend=google&cl_ch=sem&cl_camp=472843452&cl_adg=27057568092&cl_crtv=207269751485&cl_kw=online degree schools&cl_pub=google.com&cl_place=&cl_dvt=c&cl_dvm=&cl_pos=1t1&cl_mt=b&cl_gtid=kwd-38355720&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI_bKbzcmu2QIVj7rACh0ZnAdWEAAYASAAEgJ4t_D_BwE
In my research to Master's programs online, I looked at ASU, (as it is 100% online, and I have gone there before-I also do not suggest going in person, between the dress-code-lacking, there is a general animosity and permissiveness that is worry-some.  The beauty is with "opposition in all things"(2 Ne. 2:11), there are also, some wonderful people).  I am noticing a trend which seems to continue, many of the master's programs (George Mason, last week, they just called Tues.) they have one or part of their program 100% online, but it is in Behavior Management.  I figure this is towards becoming a B.I.-Behavior Int., of which 1) I have early experience of what they do (and hand-in- hand shortages and stresses, and similar training and conferences, thereby) and 2) I do not feel that I should be a part of that.   I was, however, not able to make phone calls (had family emerg-no minutes left-hey I just thought of FaceTime.  I can try that after Mon.'s holiday).  Keep trying.

ECSE Wk 5 Mothers' and Siblings

Yesterday, I found out that I am fighting a second kidney infection, within a year.  The concern is complications with the diabetes.  I'm sorry that I have not been myself for 3 days.
I did not get my calls made (to BYU or ISU), time was not on my side.  (not expecting 2 1/2 days in-and-out of bed).

I had, when they came in 2015, looked into the University of Montana https://coehs.umt.edu/departments/currinst/speced/default.php as they were seeking to see, with their two PhD seeking students (Sis. LaOrange and Bro. Christopherson), if it was the time for a pilot program, much like the MBA program, offered on campus via U of U.  It was a ME (Master's of Education) degree, they were looking at, and only 3 of us were looking at SPED.  I was 5 years from graduation, and another was leaving in a semester.  The representatives said that they would go back and present the idea to their SPED staff, but I heard no word, on any program, thereafter (other than we would not be offering a Master's program, here).  Looking at it now, I do not qualify, as it is only for "currently licensed teachers", which I understand, would typically be the population involved.  I like that BYU's offering is open to others who have worked with those in Special Needs applications, outside of education or the "teacher only" emphasis.
 
https://thebestschools.org/rankings/30-best-online-master-special-education-degree-programs/  Online, was my next emphasis (considering my children's needs). Only one, cam

https://www.masters-in-special-education.com/best/top-innovative-masters-degree-programs/, looked great, especially Capella University's 100% online, but it is teaching, and therefore would need certification.  (Hands on is a better way for me to learn, any how, it is just figuring out/narrowing down options (while keeping them open-I don't know the programs that might accept/admit me.
Capella University offers a 100% online MS in Special Education Teaching

Of the 20, #16, U of A, in Tucson (where my mom lived when I was caring for her).  She had worked at the University Hospital in Gastroenterology and Rheumatoid Departments over the nearly 20 years that she lived there. (She only left around Thanksgiving, 2014.  Could create situations with my ex-however, who is from Mesa, AZ.

I loved that many of the top 10 were in the mid-west or upper northwestern United States.  I have a connection to KU, as my sister went there and took me to visit when I was 16.  That is a Midwestern town I would consider.  It's only a hour from Kansas City (prob, 2 hrs, in traffic to the temple, but I got used to a 3 hour commute, outside of UT and ID).  My concern is again, M.E. with me as an credentialed Baccalaureate.

My sister is planning to retire to TX and get a place in the next 18 mo.  Tempting as U of T, Austin is my 9 years in CA and 7 in AZ remind me heat is not my friend (I'm Nordic, for sure-that's why I like it here!).

Lots to keep looking at!

Jenn's comments and that of siblings perspective, have created much thought and "disturbance" (not in the force) but in my own mind.  It has been good to come to terms here, where I have the space to grow and be compassionate and learn the other perspective.  I hope and think it might help in my on going efforts- not "jumping the [proverbial] gun."

Weekly quote: "I could take them over the border, to another state, in most instances, and tell them 'He was supposed to be a girl'".  Jenn, Mother's meeting, Wed. Feb. 7th.

ECSE Wk 4- Fathers

 This was week which was both hard as well as bitter/sweet.  It was hard to talk about fathers (which I addressed in the Father's post), but it was so refreshing to get many of the same feeling's that I felt (but, because his diagnosis was delayed as well as hearing impaired- to begin with, Mr Holland's Opus. Rel. Dec 29, 1995, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB1-ASsrNQI [trailer incl.]).  The scene were his [Cole's] mother looks down on him, sleeping, through the fire engine sirens during a 4th of July Parade, about sums up my feelings of discovery that Eli was beginning to have difficulties.   To have his father, turn on him and beat him, was unthinkable; but we ran (at his age 4) to try and start again.  To have a kindergarten principle, force me to sign an IEP  I did not agree with, because they "did not have funding for him" in their school was unimaginable.  The Lord was watching out for us, in numerous ways: 1) a caring Service Coordinator in the form of Callie, who was there, and proved to be a life-long friend. 2) A principle from the school I just had begun working at 3-4 weeks before, welcoming children, with open arms. 3) A charter school who accepted him on first round-personalizing instruction, as no other.  (coincidentally, his SPED director/teacher was undergoing her own chemo, for breast cancer, during this time). 4) A profession (para-professional) where I could see and learn the intricate, inner workings of a SPED program (with seasoned professionals-20 yrs + and to those, right out of college), 5) A love and compassion for these kids, which let an idea, a glimpse, a plan, of how to help form, seeing myself as merely extension of His hands.  6) Miraculously surviving as a family of 3 on $9,000 annual income.  These are just a few, and a spotlight, really of the miracles that we have seen.

Learning on how to meet Eli's needs, not shut out Leta, my 13 year-old daughter, have and see her independently advocating for those with special needs and difficulties.  Knowing that there is an army, that at many times that I do not see, which help us with the day to day tasks.

Remembering, always, "We are spiritual beings having a mortal experience" (from a plaque I saw in 1996 within the Salt Lake City, UT, Deseret Bookstore, ZCMI), and my assignment is to "bring them home".

Quote:  From Connections (Washington State Father's Network), "Push Fear Aside" by Alex Parrott, Winter 201, vol 13:1

"I am staring at a piece of paper hanging on the wall in a frame. The same person who never had to study and coasted their way through school, all the way through college is sitting in some

other office looking at the same diploma I am. That is exactly how I look at Braxton’s life and the people around him growing up. Yes, while it may take him a bit longer to pick something up, learn to walk, read, write and ride a bike, he WILL get there and in the meantime I will treat him no differently than my four year old son."

 
 Having teenagers, I both remember and admire his perspective and dedication, to his son.  I hope that he does not get caught up in "the diagnosis" when thing do not go as even as "worse case scenario" may apply.  I really liked "Today" ['s] clip, and how it shows, how expectations can come out of the blue, or blind side (both them and us, as support teams).  We need to be flexible and in touch.  Callie, was amazing, in this way.  We had other "help", "coordinators", etc, but she ALWAYS cared, seemed to know what each person needed ("observe and then serve"-she lives it!";  Linda Burton, Oct 2012 Women's Conf.), she follows up, (on promptings) even if after hours or inconvenient.  She DOES put her family FIRST!...And you have to.  You cannot give from an empty bucket.  She finds ways to fill hers, (and is consequently, blessed).



https://gradstudies.byu.edu/page/costs-financial-aid:  There is more aid available, in graduate studies, than I thought (I thought it would be pure loans).  It's about as expensive as I thought though $29,080 for 2 year, evening and summer program.  The condition and concern are moving.  I need to see if any part can be taken abroad or online (non-resident, status). Project for next week, calls.

https://www.isu.edu/education/programs/graduate/
I had spoken to some ISU representatives RE: a Master's in SPED (at a school event at the Green Belt in I.F., last summer), and they made it sound like it was not only a possibility, but also using the I.F.  satellite campus, for my studies. http://coursecat.isu.edu/graduate/programs/.  I found my program, with some searching, but, again, will need to call on specifics-like those mentioned above, for next weeks project.   This way I can stay in Idaho, residency, and not concern with the divorce/visitation availability (if his family wants to see them).  The cost is FT $4,464 per semester with $447/cr., PT (and I was unable to find, either the schedule or length of program- apply to compare next week).  Just knowing myself...I would consider PT, first, in 1) efforts to do my best and 2) afford to go to graduate school.

I need to keep in mind, what my children need.  Things may not be easy, but when we do what's right- there is a way.  I just need to "go over the [proverbial] wall" and find it. (1 Ne. 4:4-6)

ECSE wk 3

This was a hard week.  I don't like to talk about my family, because we are trying to land on our feet.  We will get there, but it can scare people (or, at least has in the past).  The point is knowing that Heavenly Father is in charge.

With that in mind, I am striving to have and keep the balance, of putting first things first (Covey, Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, 1988) accomplishing the most important-leaving and having both faith in and trust in the Lord, that all will work out (with all we can do, 2 Ne. 25:23) in the way He would have it.

Alida and I were able to get together this morning to work on EcoMaps.  I enjoyed the Angelino worksheet, because the Angelino family reminds me of a family that "adopted" me in after my mission (to be 2nd oldest of 9 instead of the youngest, latchkey-by 5 to 6 years).  The format and questions really helped to flesh out Alida and my conversation we had about our families.  It was also natural to problem-solve, encourage, and mention supports that I happened to be familiar with, in areas in which they will be going or living.

"I am Sam" very difficult to watch, and my daughter and I needed to switch it off, when the gal started physically hitting on him.  (I think we can picture something similar happening to Eli, and we are not quite ready for that yet-and I feel that I ran out of time-for a weekend, without the kids).

I would like to pursue BYU Masters in SP. Ed., considering if I will be accepted as well as the impact and affect upon my kids.-https://gradstudies.byu.edu/program/special-education-ms

 Quote:  "What is the quality of the relationship?"  Friday's 1/26/18 class lecture, Sis. Swenson.  I could go off on this for hours, the point is in the importance of reflecting, realizing how to strengthen (sometimes, where to cut), and making sure that the whole and a nurturing environment are there.

ADA Experience

ADA Experience

ADA assignment:

You have Autism and hate the color red. For an entire day you will not eat anything red. You also will not talk or interact with anyone wearing red. If you encounter someone wearing red you need to turn your head or not talk back.

Being Autistic for a day, with aversion to red, was quite interesting, for many reasons. 1) Red is my best color and I did not realize how much red I had in my life (like my car), so avoiding my car, as a single, working mom, was quite an adventure.  2) Because I grew up on my own, with limited socialization, every once and awhile, I do something odd and seeming out of character, and I am occasionally mistaken for being autistic (after taking the Autism class, I would almost swear that my daughter Leta has visual Autism, though).  3) We live off of spaghetti, salsa, and tomatoes (luckily, I was out).

First, the car:  I figured that I would pick a day that I drive it the least.  I did not have my kids that weekend, and I figured, if I saw someone wearing red, I would only have it reflect upon me, personally.  (I do billing for a local Dr. and could not guarantee, that one of the patient’s I needed to talk to would not come in wearing red).  I go to the temple, on those weekends (which was the only time I drove the car and walking from the Drigg’s Hwy 33 in winter, was not an option).  I learned, however, over time, that the Lord has ways of helping us to overcome our prejudices or “aversions”, if we choose to follow him.  I’m not saying or suggesting that this is a “cure” for Autism- I am merely stating that in following the Lord, “He will have a humble people” (Pres. Benson, “Beware of Pride”, April 1989) and as He guides us, we naturally overcome “aversions” or other prejudices which keep us from being with  or liking other of Heavenly Father’s children, as we learn to love them.  For example, during this exercise- while driving, I thought of times I have felt an aversion towards a certain type of car (color doesn’t matter much to me), but since I drive a red car, I felt that it was appropriate to reflect on.  In short, there have been 3 times in my life where I felt an “aversion” to a car.  Each time, the Lord had me love someone, before I interacted with the prejudiced car, which made me feel the loneliness, regret, and even-shame for my feelings of pride (“that I was better than that –riding in or owing that car- or even them”).

Second, I know what it feels like to feel “odd”, “out-of-place”, or have family/friends embarrassed by my actions, which can cause some socially awkward situations.  I thought of this, especially while going to the temple, because I would not want anyone there to feel uncomfortable, awkward or an aversion from me.  I had a prayer in my heart, and it was answered.  I am so grateful for the both the experience and the ability to appreciate the sincere friendships I have and the chance to repent and change.  That no one should be alone or feel isolated, even because of their own feelings.  There are many that feel either helpless or hopeless (I think of Paul and his “...thorn in the flesh” (2 Corr. 12:7-8)), and we can help to give them hope, instruction, direction, and they can overcome, through knowing the Savior, His love, and applying His atonement.  The irony is that what we feel is our comfort zone, or our biases can actually be ways in which we shut people out of our lives.

Third, I was grateful, to be low on food, made the food aversion easier, and very appreciative for the food we have.

This was an interesting exercise, which reminded me of some wonderful experiences in early young-adulthood.  I think this exercise can be very insightful for the class, as they are in that developmental stage.

ECSE Week 2

• I don't know that it would help me as much, per Se, as the others-outside of which, that I would be teaching the material:  I imagined, since I was born in 1970, I could give the girls a "living timeline" (such as I was 16, when part C was implemented) to help and to give them the perspective, that, yes most this has all happened within one lifetime, but also, just how long it takes to effect change.  (i.e.;  the original IDEA being signed when I was 5).  The main point is that change takes dedication and patience, as well as perseverance in your cause.
• What experience or resource helped you learn the most, The 20 year anniversary celebration of the sit-in for 504.  I was only 7, but I do remember a little bit of it (a year after Teton Dam, still adjusting).  I remember my mom being worried.  She never expressed why, but was amazed how, when I had returned from my mission, one of my closest friends, at home, was wheelchair bound with Spina bifida.  She wasn't sure how to take Brittany.  We talked about it, and I just let her know how to interact (nothing to be afraid of).  Ironically, Mom had worked for orthopedic surgeons since I was 6 and for the medical profession, much of my life.  It just shows, you can be around it, and still find both bigotry and intolerance.  It wasn't until the "bullies" felt both outnumbered and "out of the norm" (and lots and lots of both positive exposure and education), that a good portion of the dignity and affability towards our friends who have disabilities or impairments was established.  Don't forget the cost (or we will pay it, again).
•  
• https://i.pinimg.com/736x/37/4f/54/374f54ff48604c82e659445e860d76a5--american-pride-american-history.jpg 
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• http://tundratabloids.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/rr-quote-big-government-1170x780.jpg
• How well prepared are you for applying what you learned in the future?  I think it shows in how we "live" it.  Are we willing to make a change, now?
• Teaching my peers, when I am independent study, is really limited to short class exposure or communication within our groups.  I feel that I hopefully share, that which is felt worthwhile, but it is also up to them to see if they will allow a new perspective into the paradigm.

Weekly Quote:

• "Whether there was a Section 504, whether there was a PL 94-142, there was a Brown vs. Board of Education"("20th Anniversary-504 Sit-In,"1997)

Week 1 ECSE what we know and what we want to learn

I am still trying to catch up from the family's stomach flu last week.

What I know:  I have worked with persons who have disabilities for nearly 20 years now.  It has been my honor and privilege to be their aide/care giver, and friend.  It has been amazing to see how the field has changed in 47 years, literally being able to watch it from it's infancy, as I grew up with a disability, myself, but having a mom, who (ironically) was a school teacher who, blatantly refused to have me be part of the "system" as it was called at the time.  This provided two things, in retrospect:
1) the ability to have friends in and observe how the laws applied, from an "outsiders" point of view; and 2) Having to make individual adaptations, without the aide, trying to make things work without direct benefit of how these laws and regulations helped.  Either way, it is OK, I have especially  learned coming back to school since 2014, in Special Education (K-12), that this is where I am supposed to be, and apparently "without an 'official' diagnosis" (a long story, for another time).

What I would like to learn:  I would like to learn how policy is made, written, derived, and then implemented.  This has, truly, been a spiritual experience, the journey of these last, "wow", 7 years which have brought me here, towards both my goal and answer to prayer towards getting a Master's in Special Education.  There is always so much to learn.  Mom taught me a love for English as a living and breathing language with nuances, and mold and adaptability, to almost any circumstance.  Special Ed. has been noticing that same dynamic, on hyper-drive, watching as the drama unfolds, and being part of both the cast and crew, as it were.  I want to effect and make change-but not for me or my sake, for purpose of making this a better place (for my children, my son, and all of my friends who I have met and cherished through the years, to give them hope, safety, and a chance).  It is all work, but we need to be united in this effort, so that we can bring good things to pass.